People have their own reasons to believe whatever it is that they choose to believe. Your truth is not my truth. This is why investigators have to talk to so many witnesses to get the whole story. You see one thing and I see another. If we both were walking down a street and a person came towards us, odds are you and I would have noticed two completely different things about this person. You may notice the shoes and I may notice the shirt for example. If you talked about how ugly the person’s shoes were, I wouldn’t even know what you were talking about. Does that make you wrong? Is that just your opinion or are they really ugly? What defines ugly for that matter. It’s the same way in relationships. When friends are in a disagreement, and you hear both sides, usually they are fighting over two completely different points of view. People will believe whatever it is that they choose to believe, whether it’s actually factual or not. To the person who believes it, it’s quite factual. When I’m reading for clients, I often have to show them where their thinking is just their thinking and not actual fact. So many people are ruled by fear instead of facts.
I was speaking to someone this morning who wants to end the relationship based on fear. I asked if this one particular issue was eliminated from the relationship, would she still want to end it. She said she would not. How she sees this point, and how he sees this point is completely different. She has written this whole story around the point that is not based on fact. It’s based on her past experiences and her fears. Her reasons to believe her points are, in her mind, very valid…or were until I pointed out the potential for other viewpoints.
How do you handle people in your life with whom you are having a difference of opinion? Do you argue? Do you protest your point? I’d love to hear what and why you do what you do.