Dysfunctional relationships is one of the very common, reoccurring themes that I help clients with on a day-to-day basis while giving relationship love and psychic advice. There are some very common signs of dysfunctional relationships:
- Your self-esteem plummets rapidly. You start to have more and more doubt in yourself, your decisions about life, and the relationship.
- You keep emotional score. You are waiting for your partner to do, be or give you what you need. When that does not happen, you start to get resentful.
- You treat each other like opponents and not friends. You point out each other’s mistakes, errors and blunders. You keep score of those too.
- You feel incredible amounts of resentment. Anger is very close to the surface most of the time. Most people would say you are “hair-trigger” sensitive. The resentment spreads to others in your life.
- You feel like you have to tiptoe around your partner, watching what you say and do. You basically feel like you are waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. You wait for the right time to bring issues or problems up but there never seems to be a right time.
- You isolate yourself, or your partner starts to isolate you. You do not want anyone to know that you are in the situation you are in now. So you start to pull away from everyone in your life that is important. You start to stay home more instead of risking running into someone you may know.
- Winning becomes so important. You want to be right, you want to be vindicated, and you want your partner to realize that you are the winner and have been right all along, whether you have been or not. You will start to say and do things to make your partner feel bad.
- You start to look in the mirror and say, “Who are you?” You no longer recognize your behaviors, reactions, actions or reasons for doing things. You will alter your lifestyle drastically.
- Guilt and fear become your new bedfellows. When you think about leaving, you feel guilt and fear. When you think about staying, you feel guilt and fear.
These signs show up slowly in dysfunctional relationships. They are insidious. The sneak up on you and before you know it, you are standing in the mirror wondering who you are now. Even more importantly, you wonder where the old you went and how you can get that you back. There are lots of avenues that you can take if you would like some help. The hardest part of getting help with dysfunctional relationships is admitting that you are in one. Once you admit it to yourself, you can no longer hide that fact. It will be glaring. I would love to help you, but under any circumstance, please get some help if you find the above list applying to you. If you feel like you know people who are in these kinds of dysfunctional relationships, please do not stay silent. Reach out and let them know they are not alone. There is life after dysfunction.